decisions decisions decisions

They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. ~Edgar Allan Poe




it's funny how much my mind can get wrapped up in such trivial things in life. I worry about things that I should just let go of. I worry about what other people think... I look at the little picture instead of the big one. I trust the moment instead of trusting a future plan.

While I was running today I started thinking about how I got to where I am now... I have lived so many places and done so many things that sometimes I feel I have already lived numerous lifetimes... and now here I am in Nashville. If you would have asked me 5 years ago if I ever thought I would live in nashville I would have said hecks no and probably laughed at you. I had never even been to nashville nor ever thought about living here... yet Nashville is where I find myself. It's funny the way life goes sometimes... I often sit in wonder of how God works ... It's almost tricky. I make decisions... I am faced with tons of decisions every day. like today I could have stayed in bed and slept until one... but instead I decided to get up and go to a new church... Church!... and I am very happy that I did... I made new friends and got to see some old friends that I didn't expect to see...

I know I have my own free will... but it's sometimes undeniable that my own free will and the decisions I make are all part of a bigger plan... like God uses the decisions I make... good or bad... to always effect my life in a positive way and help me grow... It's almost like a conspiracy... I guess that is where "He will turn all things to good for those who love him" really rings true. My imperfections are not a surprise to Him... He knows them and loves me all the same. It's quite comforting to know that even when my faith is at its absolute weakest and when I am living in the moment and not trusting the one who I believe created me for a reason that I can still be a part of a plan that is bigger than myself... It truly takes an act of your will to trust... you have to let go and believe in order to trust... and that is not easy... but when you do the load that this weird but beautiful life seems to throw on your back becomes so much lighter. So I will continue to chose to trust... because for me it's a lot more comforting to trust than to distrust.